opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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