Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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