She's JV to your varsity
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
