how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
