that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Mom said you looked used
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
