The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
