I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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