I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
