So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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