What did we do last night that was yellow?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
