So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
