When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
