i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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