she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He did a backflip because drugs
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize