I haven't been this sober since birth.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
