so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
