Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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