3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I need a burrito and a hug.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
