Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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