lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
