how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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