just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
