I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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