Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
