so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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