Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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