love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
