Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
