She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize