Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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