Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize