If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize