what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
