I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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