therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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