can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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