if i died would you start the facebook group?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
