Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
