Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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