I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize