Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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