She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
