Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
