idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I smell like Dick and happiness
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
