this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
