Can Purell be used as lube?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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