how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
