Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize