6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
