I want to walk on stilts...naked
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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