Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
