I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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