your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
