would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
