She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
