Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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