My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
zippers are such a cool invention
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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