well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I want her autograph on my taint
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize