even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
