It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
