I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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