entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
