You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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